We are now over 24 hours out of the finale of Game of Thrones Season Seven, and holy shit, what a season! Now that we’ve had time to breathe and take in everything we’ve seen. And what better way to do that, than with a top ten shocking moments from Season Seven!
Note: I’d already written this one at number ten, however, I remembered what is now number ten right before I went to publish, and it’s kind of hard for me to bump it out of the list. I also thought this write up was funny, so it stays in.
HONORABLE MENTION – LET’S GET READY TO CLEGANEBOWL!!!
Battle of the Tall Bastards.
Mountain vs. Hound. Zombie vs. burn victim. Red eyes vs gorgeous locks. Cleganebowl is almost upon us, and this is something I’ve been waiting for since watching The Mountain brutally kill Oberyn Martell. I know there are fans that have waited longer than me, but after seeing that fight play out, and finally seeing these two go face to face in the season finale, this fight is going to be absolutely batshit insanely brutal. I cannot wait!
10 – The Rose’s Last Prick
Jamie is going to need two hands for the icepacks he needs after this burn!
After expecting a huge battle at Casterly Rock between the armies of Daenerys and the Lannisters, we were swerved into seeing the Lannisters sacking Highgarden for gold and food. Jamie confronts Olenna in her quarters, and instead of killing her, opts to let her kill herself with poison. After she drinks the poison, she drops a HUGE bombshell to Jamie, that she killed his son, Joffrey. This fact has been known to the audience for some time, however, watching Jamie’s reaction to the knowledge that his son was not murdered by his brother, as he was lead to believe, was incredibly heartbreaking to watch.
09 – Hotter Than A Comedy Central Roast
“Not even Jeff Ross burns his roastees this hard.” -Dickon Tarly – 304 AL
In what I would call a rather shocking moment, rather than bend the knee to Daenerys Targaryen, the stupid idiot Randyll Tarly decided he’d rather die than bend the knee to a Targaryen and preserve his house. So he gets sentenced to death. THEN, HIS IDIOT SON, DICK(!)-ON JOINS HIM. Oh well, at least those idiots are dead now, and Samwell is now the Lord of Horn Hill.
08 – His Hands Are Officially Cold Now…
More like, Deadhands.
During the final moments of the raid beyond the wall, and in the face of insurmountable odds, Jon Snow is saved at the eleventh hour by his uncle, Benjen Stark. We are treated to, in my opinion, the most hyped reunion of the series. These two haven’t seen each other since Season One. What an absolutely amazing momen- no wait, Benjen is dead now. GOD DAMN IT WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS MARTIN/BENIOFF/WEISS!
07 – How Do You Plead?
He just got Littlefingered.
In a moment I called from the start of this season, that god damn conniving bastard, Petyr Baelish, answered for all the crimes and chaos he’d committed since before season one. Every single event in this story comes back to his hand in the death of Jon Arryn, and to see him answer for these crimes with a swift slice of the throat of the knife he’s carried throughout most of the series was a satisfying way to see him go. As a side note, Aidan Gillen has been the MVP to this series as Littlefinger, and will be missed, even though he’s going to be missing from the series for only six episodes.
06 – It was me, Frey. It was me all along!
A toast, to all you dying.
In something akin to one of my favourite scenes from professional wrestling, the revelation that Arya killed the entire Frey house with one lot of poison wine was so similar to when Vince McMahon was revealed as “The Higher Power” to the Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness. It was so calculated, and precise. The reveal itself had me squealing on my couch with excitement, as this was only the start of what we were to expect this season.
05 – The Mad Queen
I know I said Aiden Gillen was the MVP of Game of Thrones, but holy shit, Lena Headey has been absolutely killing it over the last few seasons as the unhinged Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. Ever since we got the explanation in season five about the Valonqar, added on with the death of her children, we’ve seen a darker side of Cersei start to shine through. Some would even say she’s slowing becoming Aerys Targaryen. Even to the point where the scene of Ellaria and Tyene Sand almost mirrored what Aerys did to Brandon and Rickard Stark. One was chained up, watching their family member perish, all within reach of being able to be saved, whilst not being able to actually save them.
04 – Shut up, Samwell!
Gilly read good?
While focused on bowel movements and the absurdly obsessive note keeping, Samwell completely missed Gilly’s bombshell that Rhaegar Targaryen had his marriage to Elia Martell annulled. This was a stunning revelation, as at this point in the series, we believed Jon to actually be the bastard of Rhaegar and Lyanna. This set us on the path to believe Rhaegar had his marriage to Elia annulled so he could marry Lyanna. We’ve heard stories about how Rhaegar was more of a lover than a fighter, and that Rhaegar kidnapped and raped Lyanna. This turns everything we know on it’s head, and revealed to us that Robert’s Rebellion was built entirely on a lie.
03 – Fall and Rise
This game of Yu-Gi-Oh just went to a whole new level!
While trying to extract a wight from Beyond the Wall, the Westerosi Suicide Squad were greeted with a pleasant surprise in Daenerys and her dragons coming to save the day. Unfortunately, due to Jon being an ABSOLUTE IDIOT, Daenerys lost Viserion to a gold medal throw of a javelin from The Night King. I, like almost everyone, wept my eyes until they were bleeding blood over this. However, with one touch of his cold, dead fingers, The Night King now has his own dragon
02 – And We All Fall Down
Ice, Ice Baby.
The major event I did not see coming this season. Wow. The Night King and Zombie Viserion topple The Wall, and send The Army of the Dead down to the North of Westeros. With Dany and Jon headed to Winterfell via boat, does this mean one of the major set pieces for Season Eight will be Dothraki, Unsullied, and the Armies of the North against the oncoming threat at Winterfell?
01 – Hi, My Name Is….
Chika chika, Aegon Targayren.
While I didn’t expect this twist to be paid off this season, BOY I AM GLAD IT DID! We now know the birth name Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen gave to Jon Snow. And that is his official name is Aegon Targaryen. Not only that, but we have official confirmation now that Jon/Aegon is the true heir to The Iron Throne. What a way to end the series! Major revelations, and a bit of aunt/nephew incest! I never thought I’d end an article with a sentence like that…
Did we miss one? Got a moment you thought was worthy of mentioning? Let us know in the comments below!